Implanon

Over the past few weeks, our lives and time schedules have turned upside down as Officer Hubster has worked the night shift. He comes home as I'm waking up and when I leave for work, he goes to bed. This topsy turvy schedule has caused me to miss my birth control pill, not just once or twice, but an astonishing FIVE times this month!

When Bridoodle was born, our doctor told us about Implanon. It's a birth control stick that they insert in your arm and it's not an abortifacient, like Mirena. (Mirena is an IUD and it prevents a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.) Anyway, we thought it would be a good idea to get the stick implant, but wanted to wait until the Brimeister had finished nursing.

So, the time has come. The nurse called me Friday to talk about an appointment for next week. I'm just keping my fingers crossed (and my home testing kits handy), hoping that we're not already pregnant.

When we get ready to have another baby, the stick can be removed via a fifteen minute procedure and the hormones that it releases will dry up within two days.

Self Confidence

Lately, my confidence has been faltering in certain arenas. Mostly in the arena of self-appearance. Now normally, I am quite vain. I will freely admit that. There are far more mirrors hanging in my house than you would expect. And despite my claim that I placed them there for the purpose of making our tiny house feel a little more spacious, I do tend to use them to check my reflection frequently.

The problem is that I am becoming more and more dissatisfied with what I see in those mirrors.

When I look back over the course of my pregnancy and all of the preparations that I made to become a mother, I realize that I was totally unprepared for how my image of myself would change. It was a gradual change. A shifting of perspective. Somewhere within those trimesters it became really difficult to see myself as a vibrant, sexy woman again. And even now, as I carry my precious seventeen pound bundle around in my arms instead of on my stomach, I still have a hard time finding that confidence again.

It goes so much deeper than a simple haircut or flattering outfit. I'm sure it's all in my head, but it's very hard to articulate exactly what I see differently. Help, me out here. Am I crazy? Has this happened to you? How did you regain your confidence?

I have confidence in sunshine ... I have confidence in rain ... I have confidence that spring will come again... ~The Sound of Music~

Our beautiful nursery...

My fabulous mother-in-law designed these curtains and put them up for us while I was in the hospital on a Ptocin drip (it didn't take her the whole 36 hours though!)
Cutie pie outfits that we received for Christmas. I can't wait for Bri to grow into them.


This changing table was built to go on top of Bri's dresser by my fabulous father-in-law. Isn't it amazing? It's counter top height so that I don't have to bend over to change her. And it has just the right amount of storage space for shoes and pacifiers and diapers.

I have the best in-laws ever!!!

We have a baby girl!

I spent 36 hours in labor before we had a C-section. So our baby girl came into the world on Sept. 17 weighing 8lb.s 11oz. and 20 in. long.

She's so perfect and beautiful. It's amazing how my whole world has changed. And sleep has suddenly become so precious...

My Wonderful Husband

Sometimes I catch myself being overly critical of my dear Hubby. Okay, I made that sound really nice. If I'm being honest it would read more like "Lately I've become a grumpy-pain-in-the-butt to live with." And so, I wanted to take this opportunity to openly praise my fabulous husband who has put up with nine months of me whining and getting huge.

Top Ten Wonderful Things My Husband Has Done While I've Been Pregnant:
1. Back in December when we moved into this house and we were trying to get pregnant (but had no results yet) he wouldn't let me lift anything remotely heavy. He got a whole bunch of guys to help us move and told everyone not to let me lift anything. I just pointed and made cookies.
2. About a month ago, a few days after I'd been pretty weepy over how much weight I've gained, he came home from work with a bouquet of beautiful pink flowers and a card that said he'd love me forever. (This was huge because my husband is one of those men who can't see the value of flowers. He totally did it because he knows how much they mean to me.)
3. For the last 3 months he's bundled up in our refrigerated house. He sleeps with extra blankets every night so that I'll be comfortable. Even now he's watching TV in the long pajama pants that he wore on Christmas Eve last year. I can't remember him actually seriously complaining about the A/C being too cold or the bill being too high. He has joked around about it. But he's been completely understanding all summer.
4. Ever since we found out that I was indeed pregnant, if I want or need anything he'll jump up and get it for me. He's constantly bringing me more water to drink or a snack. When we're out at the grocery store he walks at my super slow pace without me having to remind him.
5. Last weekend when I went through my nesting phase and I had an insane to-do list for him, my fabulous hubby was right beside me every step of the way. He helped me knock out the overwhelming task of getting the dog's room turned into a guest room. It was pretty amazing how much we accomplished.
6. He's pampered me with pedicures (at a nail salon) and back massages. And bubble baths. And he comes around to my side of the car and opens the door and helps hoist me out every time we go anywhere. When I'm sitting down (whether it's on our couch or in a booth at a restaurant) he'll come over and offer me his arm so that he can pull me up.
7. All week he's kept the house in ready-for-company condition. When he leaves the dishes are done, the bed's made, and the living room looks fabulous.
8. In general for the last three years he's done ALL of the laundry every week. He does a better job at it than me too!
9. He gave Lilly (our dog) a haircut this week after work. I don't think either one of us appreciated our groomer enough before. She works hard for that money!!
And last but not least:
10. He's gone above and beyond in the patience category. I've been more than a little grumpy with the unending contractions over the past two weeks. And he's been calm and understanding. He doesn't argue with me when I start criticizing stupid petty things (like the fact that our waiter didn't smile at us even once today). He makes me laugh when I feel blue. And he holds my hand when I tell him I'm scared. And he prays for me to have a quick, smooth and painless delivery every night before bed. He's absolutely wonderful!

Waiting for Sunday

I had a check-up today and secretly I'd hoped that I would get admitted right away and have our baby girl tonight. Alas, that was not the case. However, I'm now 90% effaced and Bri is already engaged so we're getting close. My contractions have continued non-stop since last Saturday which shows that they are not Braxton-Hicks or false labor. And so my doctor feels comfortable inducing me on Sunday! This is fabulous because I'm really getting tired of this monotonous muscle tightening. I'm ready to feel relaxed and comfortable again. And I'm really ready to see my little girl!

Contractions

For my non-pregnant friends I wanted to enlighten you on the joys of contractions. I'm doing this partly because they're not at all what I expected them to be like and partly because every time I mention that we're inducing a week early, I get the "Why on earth would you want to do that?" response. Well the answer in short is that my contractions started this time last week. No joke. We were at my in-laws house last Saturday night when I felt the first one. It was like having an invisible corset cinched tight around my big belly. At first they were about 30 minutes apart and easy to time. I was actually excited to feel them. Yay! Here comes the baby! But I didn't tell anyone yet because I knew we were still a long way from going to the hospital. The corset will tighten and then slowly release over and over. Sometimes it doesn't release all the way and then it feels kind of like your abdomen does when you're doing the type of crunches where you're just holding your head up for a long time.
Things started getting painful three days later. On top of the corset-tightening pain there was a muscle cramping type pain. This most likely had to do with the fact that my uterine muscles had been contracting non-stop since Saturday night. That corset-type pain has been non-stop even in my sleep since last week. But thankfully the muscle pain comes and goes. I've even had a few days since then where I didn't have the muscle pain at all during the day. Today we've added a third type of pain on top of those two. The muscles in my back are really tight and they seem to tighten when a contraction is really strong. It makes you want to bend over and hold your belly so that the weight isn't on your back anymore.

And I almost forgot - there's another component to all of this too. In order for Bri to come out she has to "engage" which means she has to fit her head between the bones of my pelvis. That's a very strange sensation too. It sort of makes you jump and it feels uncomfortable but it's exciting because that means she's close to being ready. I haven't had her stay engaged for longer than 5 minutes at a time so far though. At least, not that I could feel. So basically, all this discomfort has made me very willing to go ahead and induce labor. I know that active labor (the next stage - the part they always show on "The Birth Story") will be loads more painful but at least it will have a definitive ending point and an epidural and more importantly a BABY on the other side!! :o)

~Ready or not ... we'll induce next week~

It's official. My cervix has been holding on tight, but if she doesn't let go then I get induced anyway next Sunday! YES! I'm so excited :o) As of Thursday, I was 75% effaced with no dilation. My doctor's going to check me again on Tuesday and if I haven't progressed any farther we'll wait until the weekend. If I'm dilated then I get a ticket to the hospital Tuesday (even better)! So I know she's going to come. I won't be pregnant FOREVER although it certainly feels that way. We also found out Thursday that she already weighs 8lbs. 4 oz. so she's going to be big even a week early! I'm also carrying lots of fluid (borderline polyhydramniotic) but the doctor said it's nothing to be concerned about. Hopefully that means I'll lose a lot of the weight when I deliver.
In other news, my hubby and I went to the football game (at the high school where I teach) tonight so I could see my flag girls twirling. They looked AWESOME! I was so proud. We had beautiful new purple flags (our colors are purple and gold) and they looked so sharp out on the field. The band sounded fantastic! The students (no joke) sat through the whole first two quarters, despite the fact that we were winning and then everyone stood and cheered throughout the whole half-time show. It was amazing. Totally the opposite of my high school days. It was off the chain! (That means "really cool" in today's teenage language). I had a blast!
And as an update to my last post - I went walking three separate times today. I spent two hours non-stop doing laps at Wal-Mart. I really want to have this baby. But no such luck...

Wal-Mart Walking

It's funny how everyone is full of advice when you're pregnant. From the moment you decide that you want to try to have a baby until ... well, so far the advice hasn't stopped coming. And I have an inkling that the pregnancy horror stories are about to convert over to parenting horror stories. Anyway, that's just one of the bonuses of being pregnant. So lately I've been inundated with well-wishers telling me to WALK. This is sort of funny to me because I teach at a huge highschool and my classroom is on the third floor. So I walk a lot every day and I pace around my room while I teach. I'm pretty active. Regardless, the traditional advice for my stage of pregnancy is to "go walking so you can pop that baby out."
Since I'm home for a few days until my doctor sorts out these funny contractions, I've decided to do my walking at big air-conditioned stores in the area. That way I can hold onto a buggy and stroll in semi-comfort. I call this the "Wal-Mart Walk." If the mall were closer I would go there and walk with the regular geriatric crowd, but it's a long drive. Plus I like the buggy idea because it should help me keep my balance. (I've gotten really klumsy lately).
All right then, enough talking about excercise! Off to walk!

False alarm ... again!

All day yesterday I had mild contractions that seemed to run together. I couldn't time them very well. So we finally decided to head to the hospital and see if someone could show us on the monitor what I was supposed to be feeling. The nurse was surprised to see that my contractions were very strong and regular. They were spaced two to three minutes apart. My cervix, however, was firmly closed. So we went home two hours after we checked in. The nurse told us when things got more intense to come back in.
So today I went to school. I was in serious pain for most of the day. I had around 8 different people ask me what they'd done to make me mad. I was grumpy and unpleasant pretty much all day. My contractions kept increasing in intensity until I was holding my breath waiting for them to stop (pain level of 5-6). And all the while I had to field questions left and right while I conducted class. So by the end of the day I was exhausted and my whole body was knotted up. I arranged to have a sub come in for the next three days. And then Hubs and I went back to the hospital. They kept us longer tonight (about 3 and 1/2 hours). They gave me IV fluids (just one banana bag) and rechecked my cervix. I'm 95% thinned out. So basically we're just waiting for the dilating to finish. On Thursday I have an OB appt so she can check me again. Tomorrow I'll spend the day resting and planning for my sub. Looks like our baby girl might come this week!

36 weeks...

We went to our birthing class yesterday. It was an all day affair and I had a lot of fun. A couple that we've been friends with for three years attended as well. They're due a month behind us. The husbands learned how to give us girls massages to ease labor. It was nice! And we learned breathing techniques like you see on TV. The teacher had a life-size diagram of how big our baby is now. I couldn't believe how big she is! It seems like yesterday she was just a tiny teddy-gram on the ultrasound. Now she looks a little bigger than a cabbage patch doll.
Yesterday was also the first time that I really considered the possibility that Bri might come early. I'm a procrastinator by nature so I've been assuming that she'll be one too! As a result I still have a lot of things to prepare for my substitute and the nursery mural is only half finished. Yesterday at the class it really hit me that we're almost to term- only a week to go! So I started frantically organizing the nursery when I got home. I folded all of our Dreft washed 0-3 month old clothes. And I finished packing up my suitcase and the baby's bag. Together we got the crib ready and the bumper in place. It took both of us to figure it out! I also sat down and put together two weeks of material for my sub. It was a very productive evening.

"I think there might be something living in my uterus"

(The title is a quote from JD on Scrubs).

It's hard to believe that in a month we'll be having a baby. In some ways I can't wait! I'm so excited to meet my daughter and I'm ready to have my body all to myself again. It's getting kind of cramped having two of us in here. Even labor is starting to sound better. (I'm sure I'll laugh when I go back and read that in a couple of weeks). My classroom is still in a giant upheaval. I have a lot of organizing left to do before I'll be ready to leave it. But I'm starting to see how everything's going to come together. It's a lot like being a part of a play. The first time you practice and everyone is reading their script it seems like you have way too far to go in such a short time. But a few weeks before opening night as the sets are going up and people are really into character you can see that it's going to come together perfectly. The nursery set is going up and the classroom set is going up, and my bags are packed for the hospital. Almost ready for opening night :o)

Swollen and Stressed

This is the "to do" list that never ends... So all week I've been working on my new classroom and I thought I'd be finished by Wednesday so that I could start planning for my substitute in September. HA! I was soooo naive. I've been staying late every day. I even canceled my 34 week check up with my OB to keep working at school and still my room isn't the way I want it to look. I have one more fake bulletin board to put up Monday before school starts and about 8 more posters. (I ran out of double sided tape).
Last night I went home at 6:30pm and put in another 3 hours of work at home. Today I stayed until 5 pm and my feet were the size of footballs when I left (only a slight exaggeration - they're so swollen). The school is going to be open tomorrow but I have a PLU class all day and we have a test in the morning (that I haven't really studied for). I'm stressing big time!! Whew! Most of all I need to put my feet up and take a nap.

Moving Right Along

It seems that my little stork friend at the top of my blog has been skipping through the weeks since I put him up there. I can hardly believe that we're about to start week 32! Yesterday I had a routine check-up and everything's fine. The baby's doing really well. And then last night our church had a dinner for all "Nearly, Newly Here" parents. It was a lot of fun to meet the parents who have children the same age as our little Bri. I can't believe that I'll be having a baby in 8 weeks. In some ways it seems like I'll just be pregnant FOREVER! And then in some ways it seems like that day is just flying towards me. I'm very excited though.

Getting the Nursery Ready

What a Rough Day

Well, when I set out at 8am this morning (actually 8:30 but I'm jumping ahead of myself). I had no idea that I wouldn't be getting home again until 9pm. It was a very trying day. To begin with I ran out the door late this morning and unlocked my car. Then, just like every day, I slung my heavy bag over into the passenger seat. Unlike every other day, though, my keys went flying into thin air! I looked high and low. Frantic digging under seats and through my bag ensued. I unzipped my purse just to make sure that they hadn't magically fallen in there and zipped themselves closed. Mind you the clock is ticking and I was late to start with. Finally after I had a fit of hysteria, the Hubster found them up underneath the driver's seat. I still don't see how they landed there. And that was the beginning of our rough day.
A little while later Hubs decided to leave early for work. He discovered that the battery in the truck had died. Luckily our neighbor across the street was home and willing to help jump my Hubby off. So he made it to work on time but frazzled.
After work he called me and I detoured from my route towards home so that we could take his car to the shop to get fixed. Somewhere in the conversation his phone cut out and refused to work for 15 very long minutes. We had to actually just meet in person and then of course it started working again. After we had a fresh new battery for the truck, we drove around in circles looking for a particular school supply store that was having a special on USB jump drives. We literally drove to the wrong place three times before we found the right store on the fourth try. Frustrations galore!
So since it had been such a tiring day we stopped in at one of our favorite restaurants to have dinner. We laughed about what a crazy day it had been and enjoyed just resting together. Then we went outside to go home and low and behold my car wouldn't start. It was unreal. I mean all of this in one day! We tried to jump it off but it refused. A few of the lights would flicker and the radio would come on but the car wouldn't start. It wouldn't even turn over. It just sort of gurgled at us. And then while we were standing there sweaty with our car hoods up and looking oh so redneck, I saw an old high school friend and her fiance! Have you ever noticed how you always see people that you've really wanted to see at the worst possible times? Anyway, the car refused to start. So we called a tow truck. We crashed my friend's date while we waited for the tow truck to come and we ordered dessert. I had a lot of fun catching up with her. Even still, I'm so tired. Whew! What a day!

Stretching ...

I remember when I was a little girl tracing the thick white scars on my mom's belly and asking why they were there. It was a typical innocent question on my part but sometimes those little questions come back to haunt you. I'm sure that she cringed at the pool in front of her friends as I pointed out her stretch marks. Then my memories shift off to other thoughts about the pool, like the drippy bathroom and the dark blue color of the deep end.
I'm sure she must have explained to me that stretch marks come from having a baby. I can't remember the conversation, but I'm sure she told me first. Which is why, I guess I expected the stretch marks to be exactly like hers, thick and white and healed over. No one explained to me that stretch marks come when your body trys to expand too fast and as a result tiny little tears riffle across your taught skin. It leaves red lines that eventually turn blue. It looks like someone dug their nails across your skin ... hard. It's really ugly.
For some reason I've felt sad all day since I discovered these marks. They feel so permanent. Somehow I always thought I wouldn't get stretch marks at all. Now I feel like my body will never be as pretty as it once was. And one day I will be cringing in front of my friends in a bathing suit by the pool as my daughter points out the scars I bore for her. Or maybe by then I will be proud of them because of the little girl that they represent ...

On Being Pregnant

Even though I read all the books and had some medical background, there were still a few surprises that came along with pregnancy. Here are a few pearls of wisdom I picked up along the way that you may find useful one day.

First Trimester
* The hormone overload will cause all sorts of weird symptoms. Most common are food aversions, nausea, and strange mood swings. I also had migraines. Fortunately you can take Ibuprofen during the first and second trimester. (In the third trimester you risk damaging the baby's blood supply if you take Ibuprofen). Drink lots of water because migraines are often triggered by dehydration.
* Later in the first trimester I started having horrible stomach pains at night. They occurred randomly. Some weeks I would only have them one night and others I would have them three nights in a row. As an experiment I stopped drinking carbonated beverages (Coke) for a whole week and the pains stopped too!! I think the air bubbles were increasing the pressure in my tummy and causing all that pain. Now I weigh out how badly I want a Coke before I indulge.

Second Trimester
*I really wanted my tummy to show in the fourth month. It wasn't until the fifth month that I really had a bump though. And then I had a new dilemna. None of my clothes fit right anymore. Shopping for yourself becomes sort of depressing. You don't want to buy maternity clothes because they're too big or else you'd be buying them once a month for the next few months. I always wanted to spend my shopping money on baby things, not on this transient maternity phase. So here are a few tricks I discovered that helped a lot. Goodwill has maternity clothes! Think about it. Aren't you looking forward to donating your big mama jeans after you lose the baby weight? Well someone else already has. You can buy their jeans for $4 and not feel guilty. I found some really cute stuff at Goodwill and was very happy to leave without spending a fortune.
*Other clothes tricks: Consider the fashions. Right now flowing "baby doll" shirts are very popular. They look like maternity shirts on you now but next year you can wear them again when you'll be skinny.
Try on all of the clothes in your closet. I was pretty sure that I couldn't fit into a few things in my closet but I was surprised to find things in the back of the closet that did fit! A lot of times I would push pants to the back if they were too big or baggy. Now they fit perfect. I also was surprised at how many of my dresses fit too. The classic little black dress seems to expand by default. It was very slimming too!
*Start buying diapers now. You'll need one pack of newborn diapers at least. And you'll need lots of stage one diapers. If you start clipping coupons and buying different brands now then you'll have a nice selection when the baby comes. I've had several moms advise me to do this because otherwise diapers will be really expensive when you buy them all at once. (Oh and don't forget to buy wipes too!)

Third Trimester (updated April 2008)
*Take your maternity pictures in the eighth month of pregnancy. Otherwise your face will be all swollen and you won't like the pictures later.
*Walk as much as possible. In the summertime, when it's too hot to walk outside, go for walks in the mall or in big box stores.
*Plan to be celibate for the last couple of months and the next six weeks after the baby is born. (Nobody told us to expect this). At a certain point your tummy just sticks out too far and everything is uncomfortable. After you have the baby, you have to heal for 4-6 weeks.
*Pack a hospital bag to keep in the trunk of your car. It should have a basic toiletries kit, pretty PJ's, the camera, and something entertaining to keep you occupied in the hospital. Labor takes FOREVER and there will be some down time where you will be bored. Bring stuff to do!
*Have a second bag packed at home. You can send your Hubby to get it when you have some down time at the hospital. It should have your newborn outfits, leaving clothes, hair styling equipment and a note pad to write down directions and a list for thank you notes.
*You will need maternity clothes to wear home. Sadly enough, your tummy doesn't rewind to nine months ago. You will lose the last trimester, but you will still be about the same size that you were at 6-7 months gestation. Pack loose fitting clothes to wear home.

Stress

My face has cleared up almost completely. We visited the doctor last week and although he couldn't explain what was happening, he wasn't at all surprised or worried by it. So that relaxed me a lot. I've been facing a lot of obstacles lately and it's been very frustrating. It seems like everything I touch today stops working. Not to mention, I've always been a "control freak" so the fact that I have almost no control over anything and everything to do with being pregnant scares me silly. I want to know exactly when the baby will come and exactly how long I'll be gone from work. I'm tired of these weird changes with my body and my fuzzy memory.

Taking Skin for Granted

Four days ago the skin on my face decided to abandon ship. As a pasty white person I know what it's like to have your skin peel - I've experienced that countless times following a sunburn. However this peeling episode was quite unprovoked. The next few days were painfully raw as a new layer began to replace the old. Then much to my surprise the new skin began to fall off as well. What a nightmare! I contacted my doctor and was immediately scheduled for a dermatologist visit tomorrow. Needless to say I'm a little nervous!