Immediately after school, I called the boy's mother to inform her of his misbehavior. After I explained to her, exactly who I am and why I was calling, her first question was,"WAS HE HAVING SEX?!?!?"
I literally fell back into my chair as the mental image of my students doing the nasty welled up to suffocate me. Then I hastily reassured her that her son was DEFINITELY NOT having sex on campus. After that, she wanted to know what I had seen exactly and whether or not he was sent to the principal. I told her that I had decided not to send him to an administrator since 1) it's almost the end of the year and they would most likely just send him home and 2) we have a state issued standardized test coming up soon that he really needs to pass. I told her to make his weekend as miserable as possible and that would probably be punishment enough.
She agreed and we hung up with her muttering, "Oh, Jesus, help me not to kill him when I get home!"
After school the girl stopped by my room and we had a really good talk. I told her that I was disappointed that she's moving so quickly with a boy she barely knows. Since she's only lived here for a month, and she didn't know him before she moved, it seems a little sudden to be making-out on campus! I told her that I couldn't believe she'd let her boyfriend get that far so quickly, because what will he want to do next month? To which she guiltily replied that she didn't even know if he was her boyfriend! Then I started to get stern. I sketched out the disaster that I saw before her - teenage pregnancy and a broken heart. I think she was pretty receptive and I really hope that I influenced her for good. She said that I sounded just like her step-father (which I took as a compliment) and I replied that it's because we've seen people take the hard road before. Adults have had the benefit of learning from the experiences of those around them. I think it kind of clicked for her then. She seemed fully convinced and she begged me not to call her parents.
So I told her that I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now, and if she doesn't change her ways then I will call her parents later. Now I'm starting to regret making that decision. At this point I feel like I would lose my credibility with her if I went back on my word, but as a parent, I think I would want to know if my daughter had sneaked under the stairs with a boy.
Regardless, I can't call anybody until Monday because the phone numbers are at school, but I still don't know what I should do. Got an opinion?
6 comments:
I think it is wonderful that you stepped up and called the boy's mother. So many people turn a blind eye. I do think that you should call the girls parents. I think that you could talk to her and tell her that after you thought about it you realized that they really should now. Maybe you could encourage her to tell them. Kids tend to promise things when they get caught, but actually keeping it is a hard thing.
I agree with blue-eyedchick I think you have to call her parents as well. However, since you spoke with her before I think you need to chat with her again. She needs to understand your reason for changing your mind. You could certainly mention that you called the boy's parents and it is only fair that both sides know what their children were up to.
The sad thing is I know of kids (yes they were definitely kids) in 9th grade that were caught having sex in the school bathroom.
Good luck with this. Unfortunately there is no perfect solution, but you need to protect her and let her family know.
P.S. Try not to let this ruin your weekend. Coming from a teacher who would sit and think about it over and over herself.
Wow. Is it school policy for teachers to call parents when kids are caught making out at school? That's fantastic! When I was in high school, if kids were making out in the halls teachers just told them to break it up and go to class.
I agree with Beth; I think you should talk to the girl again and let her know that you will call her parents, and tell her why (that you'd want to know if it was your daughter).
Well, it's normal to see kids kissing in the hall or hugging on each other quickly. We do tell them to break it up and keep on moving. But these kids were supposed to be in the cafeteria for lunch and they had sneaked off to another side of the school that just happened to be near a short cut I was taking to the senior picnic in the football stadium. On a normal day no one would have seen them at all. And they were doing a lot more than just hugging and kissing.
They jumped a foot when I came through unexpectedly!
Hey there, this is a really touchy issue. I do agree with the others, that you should call her parents. I would give her a chance to tell them, first. My MIL was a junior high science teacher, and she caught a girl and boy in the bathroom doing something oral. JUNIOR HIGH people. That makes me so sad, and SO SCARED that one of my kids is going to make some really bad decisions. But yes, I would definitely want to know if it were one of mine.
P.S. My book came yesterday!!! I am so excited to start reading it, thank you very much!!!
Good grief! And these kids are how old? Times are a changin' that's for sure. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing more then hand holding even when I was in HIGH SCHOOL. What we did off property was maybe different, but there's no way I would have been caught doing that at school.
Kids. Sheesh. At least the mom didn't attack you for it.
I think it's great you called them on it. I would really appreciate it if it was my kid. Hopefully you're right and the girl took something away from your conversation.
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