Update: Thank you to all who posted their how-to advice in response to the big questions I posted here. I tried almost everything you suggested! We found the Playtex drop-in liner bottles to work the best. She has been taking them without any fuss for weeks now. As far as moving her into the crib we've decided to take our time. Bri's a great little co-sleeper and I've been pleasantly surprised to read about the benefits of co-sleeping. I don't feel guilty about that anymore. Don't worry, though, I'm sure I'll find something else to worry my conscience over soon.
My little girl is seven weeks and two days old and in a few weeks I'll be putting her in daycare for the first time. I'm sort of overwhelmed by all the things people have told me I need to have done by then. Don't get me wrong, I love advice (when I'm asking for it) but I need some how-to advice and not just what-to-do. Does that make any sense? For example, how do you get your baby to sleep on her own without waking up the second you put her down? And how do you get her to take a bottle instead of screaming for an hour that she wants to nurse instead? All in all, if you have any suggestions on how to make the transition smoother please leave them in the comments section here. I will be very appreciative! Thanksabunch!!
This post is part of WFMW: Backwards Day hosted by Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer.
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13 comments:
For the bottle thing- have dad do it. We ended up co-sleeping with each kid because he was such a heavy sleeper that by the time I got him out of bed and the bottle was made almost 20 minutes had gone by.
I've heard that putting a heating pad on low in the crib (take it out when the baby is there) helps the transition from your warm arms to cold bed. My kids were big on waking up, so we just sucked up being beds for naps and let them sleep on us (it was good to force me to sit and rest for awhile, too). My sister swore by putting her boy down while he was sleepy but not asleep.
I always put mine down awake. That way they learn to soothe themselves to sleep. Your baby is still quite young, but I bet he/she would surprise you!! Mine, after a few minutes of crying, would stop (usually suddenly) and look around the room for a while, then doze off. It just takes US letting them do it!!
As far as the bottle. This can be EXTREMELY frustrating! Are you using breast milk (liquid gold) or formula. Obviously, they are more likely to take breast milk if they've been breast fed. Also, try different bottles and nipples. Each of my kids would only take one kind of bottle/nipple, and they were both different. Aside from that, just do something else, and try to feed them again in 10-15 minutes. They'll eat when they're hungry (or starving), that is unless your baby has health issues/etc. You can try nursing for a few minutes, then instead of switching sides, go to the bottle. It takes more time, but should help with the transition.
Good luck
Jennifer
Another idea is to let someone else feed the baby. Completely leave the room or the house if necessary (for you!!!). The baby will eat when its hungry enough.
For sleeping, now is the time to teach your baby to fall asleep on her own. Put her to bed awake - maybe in a different position that she's normally in. If she plays on the floor on her back then put her to sleep on her side. Leave her in her crib and see what she does. I have 5 children and this is how we've done it. The other tip is to keep her awake after you feed her. Don't let her fall asleep while eating. After she's been up for about 30 minutes or an hour then put her in her crib awake.
The bottle thing...I agree, let dad do it. But, I did have one child who would NOT take a bottle from anyone. We went straight to a sippy cup with him when was 6 months old. If you nurse then try using formula in the bottle. Maybe she only wants the breastmilk from its source.
I read The Baby Whisperer when I was a new mom and it helped me really understand HOW to do what you need to do. First, help your baby get into a routine: Sleep, Eat, Play (or just a few minutes of wake time changing clothes, bathing, etc.), and then back to bed every couple of hours. For me, it took a lot of crying to get my child to sleep on her own, but she finally got it and so did I! You can't put them to sleep while nursing or else they wake up again. You can't wait too long to put them to bed or they get overtired. Don't give up, the two of you will figure it out. Someone once told me, that when a baby is hungry, they'll eat. So, there may be some tears, but the baby will take a bottle eventually.
My son is 13 months and I have never gotten him to go to sleep on his own. He falls asleep nursing or cuddling and I wait 20 minutes - without moving, so I know he's in a deep sleep before putting him down in his crib - that's the only way I've ever been able to put him down.
He would also not take a bottle from me. But he took one from his father. We had to try several different types of nipples before we found one he liked. (Hint, look at your nipple when he un latches and try and find a similar looking nipple on a bottle.)
For the bottle: Try different bottles. Mine would only take the playtex nursery kind. It might hellp if you had someone else do the feeding.
Put the baby down whild still awake. If they cry, it will only be for a little while. I used to have to place one of my nightshirts that had been slept in, under the baby, as a sheet. If he had my smell with him, he was fine.
Congratulations!
We learned the hard way with the sleeping thing. At first, we tried rocking our son until he was drowsy/asleep. Of course the instant we moved him, he woke up. We gradually started letting him cry it out. My sister-in-law gave a great suggestion about using a timer. It often feels like they're crying much longer than they are. We started with 3 minutes of crying and increased the number. That definitely worked for us!
The best thing we found for the bottle was to make sure that mommy left the room or even the house to get both of the boys to take it (that was once they were nursing). If Bri doesn't see/hear/smell you it may be easier. Have you tried putting something of you near her when she sleeps? Neither of my boys would sleep or settle on their own with the "back to sleep" campaign. We are bad and did the tummy thing once they were old enough to move their heads. Both were so much happier and could settle on their own. Another thing we found that helped with settling was a sound machine - especially waves. For some reason it reminds them of the sound in the womb and they LOVE it.
Try not to get too frustrated, Bri is still in the pre-three month transition time. Most babies really do settle into a more predictable pattern by that time. As others have suggested try to help her with that by doing the same thing every evening before bed. Read her a story and try not to comfort nurse her before sleep or she will grow to expect that (I talk from experience with the almost 6 month old who would still prefer this method of falling asleep).
Good luck with going back to school and remember to bring LOTS of photos of Bri with you and call to see how she is doing. It will make you feel better and know it really is worse on mom and dad than the little one. Lots of hugs coming your way.
Hey! Just a few thoughts.... have you tried warming the bottle in a bowl of hot water for a few minutes? That got my second-born to take it and I prayed that day about it and asked the Lord to help him take it. Don't talk while you are trying to give her the bottle - she'll know your voice. Keep trying. Even if you don't get her to take it, try at each feeding, well, not at night. On the sleep thing, she's still really young. You might find things starting to click when she's around three months old. Remember, all the tips about what she needs to be doing by the time she goes to daycare are just advice. Every baby is different. You guys will get your rhythms.
I agree with what everyone else has said. Put your little one down awake. My son had to be swaddled in order to sleep. We learned the hard way with my son- we rocked & nursed him to sleep until he was 8 months old & he woke up every single hour the entire night for 8 months...
I've always rocked Noodle to sleep (I had precious little time with her after work - I needed that rocking time every night!) I took a few nights before we started daycare & worked with her on staying in her own bed. I put her down for the night and then when she would wake crying (for no reason) I would comfort her before she got out of conrol, not pick her up, and just pat her tushy until she started to fall back to sleep on her own. I'm not going to lie and tell you that first night was easy - she fought me for all she was worth - but after the first night, the second night I was only in there 10/15 times & the third night she didn't wake for anything but a bottle & she was right back down with no problems.
My milk dried up within the first 6 weeks & all she wanted was the bottle (since it actually fed her)so I'm no help there!
Take plenty of pics of her to work with you. I put a few videos on Photobucket that i could watch when I needed a fix ;)
Good luck girl!
I had to let my husband feed my son the bottle, he would take it when he was hungry enough. With my daughter we started suplimenting right away because she wasn't getting enough from me, we used the playtex bottles and she could nurse and take the bottle from me.
As far as sleeping, start putting her down before she falls asleep. My first (my son) we didn't do this and he slept with us for the longest time. With my duaghter we started right away putting her down and let her put herself to sleep. We did have some times of crying, but not much. Now at two she asks to go to sleep most nights.
Good luck finding what works for you.
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